*Tap*tap*tap* (((((echo))))) Wow. It is quiet here. Everyone must be asleep from a night of celebration, ringing in the new year. For my part, I went to bed early, although I did wake up five minutes before midnight only to fall right back asleep. I know. I am a party animal. Rawr. :)
2011 is here. For the record, I am pronouncing it twenty-eleven, not two thousand eleven. The latter is far too cumbersome, don’t you think? Consider what will happen, say, one hundred fifty years from now. Do we expect people to be saying, “Two thousand one hundred and eleven?” I don’t think so. They will say, “Twenty-one sixty-one.” Simple as that.
So, this is my contribution on this first day of the new year and new decade. Let’s all agree to say the year in a way that meets with our long held linguistic tradition. Let’s say, “Twenty eleven!” Just like that. Go ahead. You can do it. C’mon. I promise, no one will laugh at you or call you before the thought police in D.C. Say it. There, now. Didn’t that just roll off the tongue? Twenty eleven. So much easier than two thousand eleven. And think of all the carbon that will be not be expelled into the ozone because you were diligent to conserve, yes? For every word you are able to omit from your conversation, a corresponding amount of carbon is thereby not released into the atmosphere, thereby lowering the sea levels and–what? Why are you looking at me that way? Oh, nevermind. Say it however you want, you carbon exhaler, you.
In the meantime, have a wonderful new year full of joy and happiness. And thank you for enduring this moment of satirical respite. If you were offended by my climate change humor in anyway, I am sure you will find the little x on the top right hand corner of your screen which will help you scurry along elsewhere. Just don’t breathe too hard while exiting. Don’t want another iceberg to calve as a result in Antarctica. :D