Oh. Hi. Sorry…. I didn’t realize you were there. Don’t mind me. I am busy editing. No, not a blog post. Not a book chapter, either. At least, not anymore. Well, not for now anyway. Maybe later. No, I am editing something different. Want to hear a secret? Lean closer. I don’t want it to get out. Kinda silly huh? I mean, posting it on this blog is getting it out a bit. But that’s okay. We are all friends. So, are ya ready? Here it is.
I am editing my life. No, not the past. I realize I cannot change what has already happened. I cannot go back in time and make different decisions at key points in my life, although I can change my attitude about some of those things. I am editing the choices I make as I chart the direction of my future. What? The stuff I can’t control? I know. Of course there are things I will not be able to control. Decisions other people make. The weather. The airspeed of mosquitos as they squish on my windshield in the summer evenings…. Oh, sorry. Daydreaming for a moment. But the point remains. I know I can’t control lots of stuff.
But I can control my choices. And therein lies the beauty of editing. Life editing, that is. Strange combination of words, isn’t it? Blame it on Donald Miller, author of “A Million Miles in a Thousand Years.” I began thinking about life editing while reading his book. I even wrote a review of the book here. And it still sticks with me. I look into my future through the lens of editorial hope, and I see possibility, rather than fatalism.
Don’t get me wrong. I am not suggesting that I can control the future. Nor am I intending to take God out of the picture. On the contrary, I look to God as my source and hope. I embrace the fact that my eternal redemption and present strength are to be found only through Jesus Christ.
Yet, I can not deny that he also gave me a mind. A heart. A will. The ability to be creative and make choices and embark on journeys into the unknown. Fatalism suggests I should hunker down and wait for the last beat of my heart, living in the shadow of other people’s dreams and choices.
But I sense God calling me to walk in His dreams for me with all the creative abandon of a improvisational keyboard player; closing my eyes in the natural and opening them in passionate prayer and worship, tears streaming down in the silence of the midnight hour in the presence of God.