I am sitting in the terminal at the San Diego airport. Now comes the time of decompression, sorta. I fly home to Portland and then hop in my car for the drive to Seattle for the Northwest Christian Education Conference.
I listened to Sheila Walsh today in the general session. Powerful message. I identify with some of the pain she expressed. When evil happens, when death occurs, when loneliness visits in the quiet moments and dark hours, when prayers seem to go unanswered, we might wonder, “Does God even care? Is he aware of our situation? Does he know the profound, searing pain which pierces our hearts?” Of course he does on all accounts. Yet we can feel such potent hurt that our internal life is overloaded.
It is those moments I run again to the arms of our Savior. It is in those times I avail myself of dear friends. It is in those moments that I take care to tell God what I am really thinking, what I am really feeling. He knows anyway. What use is it to pretend that I am “peachy” when in fact I feel lost in a sea of expectations, conflicting emotions, responsibilities and serendipitous setbacks? It is in those moments that I take up again my ongoing conversation with the Lord. And I worship. And I hope. And I cry. Not tears of despair, but tears of trust in the Lord Jesus Christ.