The game is afoot in a heart unsettled by the status quo. It is clear to me that something has got to change in my heart and ministry and in my engagement with the world around me. I do not know where it will lead, this visceral journey of heart and sinew, mind and relationship. Yet, I know that much is at stake, not least my own spiritual formation into the likeness of Jesus Christ and in my ability to fulfill his assignment for me. For if there be any attitude or conviction in me which is contrary to the character of Jesus, then my mission to be a disciple and to make disciples for Jesus Christ is in grave peril. On my own I lack complete perspective to judge whether that is the case; only in truly safe, relational community will I find the generative redemptive accountability which can cut to the heart of the matter far better than check lists and condescending smiles or frowns. I see in part, but I realize there is a broader dimension which can only be seen by those who love me and who can redemptively speak into my life.
I suspect I am not alone in this state of holy discontent. Hidden deep behind the carefully crafted countenances of church approved respectability, people of all kinds, married and single, struggle with profound lonliness, even in the midst of pulsating rhythms of varied surface relationships, most of which lack depth or reciprocity. They lack authentic community. Some do not recognize it as such because of their constant exposure to people. Others spend great amounts of time alone, but have given up their attempts to re-enter the world around them after so many attempts have been rebuffed. Most have no idea how to navigate into a new way of living.
This journey is uncharted for me. It is largely uncharted for the children’s ministry and the church as well. However, I know there is a way forward. By God’s grace I intend to join with my church family in entering a prolonged season of prayer and reflection, not only personally, but with at least two others. No agenda on my part. Just prayer. For now, the campus ministries of the church will progress normally, but the intensity of prayer will heat up exponentially. No solutions just yet, nor for awhile to come, I suspect. In the few months ahead, serious Scripture intake and prayer, combined with continued exegesis of the local culture will be my primary priorities in cooperation with the church leadership.